Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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