used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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