I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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