no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
