so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
