People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
and she was petting her beer can
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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