dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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