there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
