the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize