I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
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I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
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well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?