I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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