i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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