Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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