By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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