Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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