how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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