and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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