hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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