ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
