i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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