We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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