that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
