I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize