toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
