dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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