Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
