I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
