Tell her she can't have a vagina
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize