what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
