That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
