If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
