Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
