then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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