Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
