I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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