No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
