Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize