So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
