ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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