You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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