Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
