My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Thank you for not boning my boss.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
