he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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