Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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