I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
