She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
