Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize