I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize