Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
