I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
