I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
