I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
