sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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