the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
