Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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