Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
