I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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