I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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