her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
