i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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